it appears the mao forum's never ending story had terminated.  it's really the best story ever:

Once upon a time, Anran ate a wild hog alive.  This hog was very much alive and struggling as Anran threw up on Chad, causing the hog to scream when Chad slit its throat.  Thus, the ghost of the hog came back and haunted Chad till he begged Anran for mercy.  Anran then ate Chad's favorite turqoise shirt from states '04, causing Chad to sue Josh for calling him a Jap.  Shocked, Josh ran away and complained to Chad's mom that Chad was acting like a hairy baboon. Shortly thereafter, Aneesh got an email from the great big rabbit, concerning the escape of Liz from the Maliha Is A Retard Zoo.  Liz escaped because Doker ate his fat mom.  Soon thereafter, Aneesh had to lock Chad in a cage for shooting Maliha's brain out.  Horrified, Liz came and attacked Maliha's dead body with a rabbit, who then emailed Aneesh a cupcake.  Aneesh immediately gave it to  Chad's mom because "your mom" jokes are retarded.  Maliha apologized to Aneesh, while she is actually dead...but her ghost has risen. Aneesh called in ghost busters , but they refused to help.  They were too enamored with Spongebob's yellowness that began to attack Veronica, forcing her to flee to Mexico.   In Mexico, she ran into Aneesh's calculator, who was eating pencil shavings since Aneesh uses mechanical pencils. Nonetheless, he loves pencil shavings.  Jeff loves pencil shavings, too.  Chad loves no.2 pencil shavings and Maliha loves black ink.   She loves red ink also. But sadly, nobody cares.  One day Chad went to Victoria's Secret and bought nothing at all.  But he tried everything on. Then bought everything! In Maliha's dreams, anyway.   In Maliha's nightmares maybe!!     

Meanwhile, back in Mexico, Veronica met a fellow named Aneesh, who uses mechanical pencils!  Also nearby was a creepy penguin named Chilly Willy. Chilly Willy decided to shoot himself with a harpoon, and succeeded. During Chilly Willy's funeral, everybody clapped as Chad threw up all over the grave. "I hate this story," says Chad.  Unfortunately, nobody cared, until a monkey named Hallabaluga came to Armenia to find himself a hotdog to feed to maliha1231 because they looked like bananas. maliha1231 grabbed the hot dog and promptly ran in circles.     

Meanwhile, Josh was busy running and was ran over by 20 rampaging rhinos, who were hungry for a josh like creature which they didn't find.  Afterwards, Josh haunted Anran, who felt very sad and called ghostbusters on Josh.  In retaliation, Josh hired a hitman to stalk Chad for throwing up again.  The hitman, however, decided to murder maliha instead because she was already dead. But she came back to life to stalk Arun because he hates fat pakis.  Arun also hates the resurrected dead.  This caused him to seduce a rabbit named Bo Ouyang, who immediately shot himself in disgust.     

Soon after, another rabbit ate Aneesh's secret stash of dynamite.  This made the rabbit burp fire and ash onto Veronica's alter ego. The violence was not over, though.  A shark from Hawaii attacked nothing at all, but somehow injured 22,665 mathletes. Luckily, there was one mathlete who lost to the shark everything he possessed.  He started snoring when Wendy hit him with a really big hamster.  This mathlete was named jello-man;however, he hated jello passionately. Meanwhile, the shark got bored and attacked a group of Canadian tourists who immediately fried bacon on Jeff's favorite stove, named for Jeff's favorite Star Wars character, Jar Jar Binks. Upon his arrival to the scene, he ate the hamster in order to impress the mailbox he stood by which blew up because of Aneesh's secret dynamite. Bits of the hamster fell into a twinkie's mailbox which swallowed the shark and suffered from diarrhea. The mailbox detested this story and started playing mafia with seven dead presidents, who then dressed the mailbox in lingerie and asked it to dance.   Unfortunately, the 22,665 injured mathletes decided to burn the mailbox with Greek fire because mailboxes shouldn't wear white after arbor day. Meanwhile, nearby tree-hugging enthusiasts formed a union to make Arun move to Oregon where he'd live humbly, since he cooked and ate trees, which made the squirrles furious so they read the Odyssey. Saiem loved this epic because he loved the psych ward and idealized Odysseus' lothario-ism and ate cheese.     

Sometime later, Wendy decided to make Aneesh sing eensy-weensy spider because she knew he hated jack-o-lanterns and haters.  So he decapitated Jack the Snowman because it ate Chad's favorite waffle iron which Chad smacked Aneesh with.  Aneesh decided to sue Michael Jackson for hitting on little boys at K-Mart. However, Aneesh then decided to follow the trial in order to follow in Michael Jackson's footsteps.  However, he soon woke up realizing he was in jail, and escaped to Kmart.  He was innocent, so Chenyu grabbed his beloved calculator and attacked the policemen. He then got caught stealing Oleg's beloved Russian textbook, and ran really fast.  So Oleg cursed at him in Russian, walking on his hands.  However, upon realizing Russians don't eat hot dogs topped with Indian curry, Aneesh took back his curry and smashed it into chad's face because Chad had never eaten curry dogs before.  Chad immediately wolfed down sixty-one green mangoes topped with mustard.  A few days later, Chad drowned...and somehow stayed alive.  He then decided to invite Sarah and Roshan to a strip-poker game. They dragged Gaku along with them.  Chad took Gaku as a Jap and got squashed by Weiping and Saiem, who then locked Wendy in the bell tower.  Suddenly, they died and their ghosts haunted Wendy until Pam Allison pacified the ghosts by giving them first place trophies for getting 120's on her crappy Theta Individual tests. 

Meanwhile, in the strip club...James pulled out his new switchblade and began attacking all the wannabe mathletes who were in the club unwillingly doing english summer reading.  They wanted, however, to retaliate with their Shakespearean Spanish, and threw Yannik down the upside-down bell tower.

apparently, the end.  that's just evil.  this is the most awesome story!!!!!

OMFG. . . .

today i had my piano lesson at UT, and went 15 minutes over because my guild auditions are july 15, then when my sister had her lesson, my dad and i went for a walk to hillsborough river.  some people were having a wedding there and i really pitied the girls with those awful high heeled shoes.  looked really painful.  but we saw a dolphin, or maybe a shark in the river.  dad thought it was swimming fast, but i thought it was really pretty slow for a marine life form.  it looked like there were two of them.  then when we were walking back, it started raining very lightly.  i hear an odd fwoosh and see this funny silvery looking fog cloud, and then all of a sudden it's raining like hell and i got soaked just going for the nearest building. . . which was locked, but it had this porch thing so it was partially dry.  so dad says he'll go get the car and i should run and get frieza, and he'll drive the car to the door.  except we're about half a mile away.  at this time this random guy runs onto the porch thing cussing up the equivalent of any hurricane.  the trees were being blown around so that they resembled rainbows or slinkies, all arched over.  so then dad runs for the car and i go for the piano lesson building, but my shoes were being all slippery, so i just took off my shoes and ran barefoot.  felt pretty neat going through the puddles, the water was pretty warm.  so then i get to the building and almost slipped going in because my feet were all wet.  teacher looks at me kind of funny, guess i looked like i fell in the river or something.  dad drove around and frieza and i ran for the car.

on bayshore, the water was about a foot deep already.  florida!  the water level rises a few inches and the whole state's underwater.  from an airplane, the whole state looks like one big half submerged swamp, like when you dump a bucket of water over some mud and it's all soggy with little puddles.  so bayshore was mostly submerged and the windshield kept getting all fogged up so we could hardly see out the front and when we could see, all we saw was water.  then we get home. . . and it's barely raining.  i moved all the plants closer to the house, but this one pot had a spikey weed growing in it, so there was this little thorn thing sticking out my finger.  on TV, they showed the hurricane dennis is pretty far off shore, except we're getting these huge rain bands.  well, we still have power, so i'm lucky.

i got my school schedule and i'm getting everything i wanted to take!  they gave me stats and psychology and even let me take french, in addition to spanish!  the note said open house is august 2. . . except, unfortunately, i'm halfway to asia doing math in hawaii, but i'd rather be there anyways.  so dad's going to represent me at the open house, except the schedule's so confusing, i don't know how dad's going to manage.  it says i have french period 01 and psychology period 02, then some class 13, 15, and 17, then classes 23, 25, 27, then homeroom 60.  i guess the 01 and 02 mean periods 1 and 2, respectively, every day.  the 1 in 13 means day 1, the 3 means block 3, which means periods 3 and 4.  but homeroom period 60. . . i told dad the 0 means it's not a period and the 6 was a random number that's just randomly stuck there, like a place holder i guess.

yesterday i passed the idiotic learners permit drug course, woohoo!  i missed 4, but that's still 90% and all we needed was 80%.  and i learned that people going toward a cement wall while asleep from being drunk is a bad idea.  really?  wow!!!  who would've thought!!!  in spanish: de veras???!!!!!  no me digas!!!!!  (really???!!!!!  you don't say!!!!!)   heh.  so today's just generally confusing.  maybe i'll go to sleep and hibernate until the hurricane passes and the sun comes out. 

a brief history of math:

Analysis: derived from the english word "anal" and the word "ysis", which is ancient greek for "to pull numbers out of" --- Scott Adams

"How can i help seeing what is in front of my eyes? Two and two are four."  "Sometimes, sometimes they are five.  Sometimes, they are three.  Sometimes they are all of them at once.  You must try harder.  It is not easy to become sane."

Pi is a beautiful thing.  It frolics through fields of daisies so therefore it equals 3.14.  But since the pi has no arms to pick the daisies it shrivels up and dies.  Because three is fat and armed numbers aren't as cool as unarmed numbers, pi is larger than three.

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?  To get to the other. . . uh. . . .

There are 10 types of people in the world: people who understand binary, and people who have friends.

"Proof is the idol before whom the pure mathematician tortures himself"---sir arthur eddington

yup, everybody loves math. . .

Hey!! It's nice to finally have a xanga!