June 13, 2012

• Apple Sucks

  I’d hoped not to make a yearly tradition of having an unpleasant visit to the Apple store, but it’s something I wasn’t quite able to avoid. Way back about a year ago, I put some leftover food in my purse, and it leaked a bit. All over the silly thing, and my iPhone battery has been a bit strange since.

  I went to the Apple store, and first I had to make an appointment. Eventually I talked to this person and told him about my phone, and that I was willing to pay for repairs. He said there was probably some kind of water damage, and that he could replace the battery. I asked if he could take it apart, wipe off the parts, and put it back together? He said no, there were people who would do that, but not Apple-certified people. I said, ok, do you know how to take it apart? He said he did. Just unofficially, can you tell me how to take it apart? No, because that will void the warranty. I don’t care about the warranty, I said. I’m willing to pay for it. Well it might mess up something else, like the Wifi antenna, or the internal antenna. That’s fine, I said. If that happens, I’ll deal with that when it comes up. Well there are people who would do it, but they aren’t Apple-certified, he said. That will void the warranty. What can you guys do? He said they could replace the battery or the camera, or they could replace the whole phone. Can you sell me the parts so that I can fix it? I asked. No, that would void the warranty, he said. I know that; I was at the Apple store in Berkeley last year for my old phone! They’d refused to work on it because I’d replaced some of the parts, and the guy there said they kept spare parts in the back room, but they couldn’t sell me new parts anyways. Well there are other places where they sell parts, and they might look like Apple parts, but they’re not, he said. I don’t care if they’re Apple parts, I said. I just want this thing fixed. I have to get the parts from elsewhere because Apple won’t sell me parts. Putting in other parts voids the warranty, he said. But the warranty isn’t doing me any good if I can’t get it fixed, I said. How did you get the last one open, he said. I unscrewed the screws here and pried it out with a flat-headed screwdriver, I said. But that was a different model that was easier to open. Well we can’t open it up and look at it, because that would take a long time, he said. So we just replace the whole phone. There are other places that might do that, but they’re not Apple-certified. That would void the warranty. I don’t think the warranty even applies anymore. I spilled oil on it. The warranty is already void. What do I care about it then?

  This went on for a while. Eventually we established that no Apple-certified person would work on it, and all they could do was sell me a new phone. What’s an Apple-certification for anyways? As far as I can tell, replacing exterior parts and sales. I hate this.

  • 3:57 pm
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